Why We Buy: Belonging as a Motivator to Spending - dignify

Why We Buy: Belonging as a Motivator to Spending

February 17, 2017

Last summer, I came home from our family vacation to face the realities of life .

I had felt weary from the responsibilities of family, home, business, self, and so, naturally, vacation is when I ignore all of those things and do whatever I want! (it helps when you tag along with grandparents). Eating ALL THE THINGS was part of my responsibility-rebellion, so when I came back to life, I wasn’t surprised (but nonetheless horrified) that my clothes were ill-fitting and I looked, to myself in the mirror, well… vacaction-y (and I don’t mean tanned & relaxed).

I resolved that I would find some kind of exercise solution that would help get things back on track, and ultimately, signed up for a membership at my local YMCA. It made sense financially, because I was going to register my kids for various programs (there are discounted rates for members), it had dozens of drop-in classes included in membership, as well as a pool & the usual fitness facilities.

I have always been very motivated by the commitment of spending money. If I pay for a program, I am going to show up. Otherwise, what a waste of money! I know this isn’t a motivator for everyone (see: Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendencies), but it has worked for me.



But, for some reason, this time, it just didn’t. I went to classes here & there for a while, and I took the kids swimming, but the value I was taking advantage of was WAY less than the expense.

The obvious next step for someone who likes to be intentional about spending, is to cancel the membership. Right? It was certainly clear to my husband!

But, I was sooo reluctant. I didn’t want to give it up. I liked being able to go on a whim. I liked the possibility that if I wanted to exercise, I had a perfect forum & opportunity, waiting to welcome me in.

But all of this was at an expense of $84/month (that’s ~$1000 a year, for those of us who understood there would be no math). I haven’t been to a class since Christmas break, and have used the equipment floor exactly once. I’ve taken the kids swimming, but not nearly enough to make it cost less than dropping in. It didn’t make sense — why was I holding on?



I finally realized how much belonging to the membership of the club was impacting me. I liked being a part of something, and that feeling had really motivated me to spend money on this membership.

Belonging is a deep emotional & psychological need. The question for discerning consumers is: when is my fundamental need to belong being manipulated, for someone else’s gain?

For the record, I don’t think that the YMCA was manipulating me! But, there are numerous membership clubs, online groups, professional organizations, and the like, who, in many ways, sell belonging for a fee.

I need to determine, in each situation, if it is worth it to me. Is there more offered, and are the other benefits valuable enough to me? Or maybe, it is enough to pay for this belonging? Where else, and to whom, do Ibelong??


Leave a comment


Also in Shop Good Blog

Never Enough

October 13, 2018 1 Comment

We've listened to the soundtrack to The Greatest Showman countless times in my house (or, as my music app tells me: around 30), and the chorus of this song — "Never Enough" — keeps ringing through my head.

The song itself is about love (ie. without you, all the amazing things in the world will never be enough), but as we head into the busiest shopping season of the year, I feel like "Never Enough" is the battle cry of retail marketing.

Read More
We don't hire women to make blankets. We make blankets to hire women.

September 27, 2018 2 Comments


“We don’t hire homies to bake bread, we bake bread to hire homies.”

I have often written about my love & admiration for Father Greg Boyle (Father G) and the work he has done with the gang population in Los Angeles with Homeboy Industries. It is not an easy thing to promote the dignity of people who have been involved in violent criminality, finding kinship in mutual love and respect.

This line — “We don’t hire homies to bake bread, we bake bread to hire homies.” — is a perfect description of the complex dynamic of running a business that is, at its core, motivated to employ a marginalized population.

Read More
Fresh Starts & Being Easy on Ourselves.

September 20, 2018 1 Comment


For many of us — perhaps especially if you have kids in school, or an affinity for fall —, September is the perfect time for a fresh start. I wrote last week about my fresh exercise start after a summer of indulgence!

Whether it is the new calendar year, or a new school year, milestones offer a great chance for fresh starts. I think it is a fantastic time to dream about what will be different, what systems can change & improve, and how to begin well.

But here we are, mid-way through September, and I want to offer another thought:

Read More
Join dignify's "Keep Up" Newsletter

Join our mailing list for good words, great company, & first dibs on new arrivals.

 

We're learning to shop, give, & LIVE with more meaning.